I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
