Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
