Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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