"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
