He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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