You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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