wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
