I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize