Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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