is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Panties = found
Randomize
