I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
