mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
