The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
