at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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