you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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