we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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