It's Friday. Sex?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
