A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
