her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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