What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
