I accidentally had phone sex last night
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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