marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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