my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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