you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
