i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
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I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize