similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
love makes seman taste better
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So much rum. So many feels.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
