You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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