playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
