So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
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You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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