they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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