Are we in a gay sports bar?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone came in the potted fern
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
