I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
