Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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