So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
