I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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