you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize