Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
