Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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