Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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