I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
