Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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