So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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