I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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