If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
