Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
