The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
