There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
