3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
