what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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