woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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