Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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