Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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