you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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