I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize