Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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