you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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